4 Stars

Publisher:

Publication Date: September 15th, 2019

Genre: Romance, New Adult

Where you can find Holding On To Forever: Amazon | BookBub

Trigger Warning: Drug Use, Alcohol Use, Sexual Assault.

Book Synopsis:

Secretly dating Coach Parker’s daughter was never part of the plan. Neither was becoming her dealer…

ADAM
Returning to my drug-dealing past wasn’t on the agenda when I accepted the full ride to play ball at Cypress U. But Mom lost her job. And my sister’s medical bills are mounting. So, I’ve no choice but to change the playbook.

When Emily walks into my life, like a fallen goddess with the ultimate power to destroy me, I know I’m screwed. I should steer clear, but I’m the one supplying her poison of choice. Falling for her is a complication I don’t need, but the more she’s around, the harder it gets to walk away. She needs me, and I crave her more than the sport I love.

Now, it’s all on the line. Including the NFL career that’s tantalizingly close.

The stakes are high, but family means everything, so I’ll take my chances.

EMILY
It’s only a problem if it’s out of control. And I have it in hand.

Except a certain a-hole discovers I’m using again, and he threatens to rat me out to my folks. Mom’s president of Cypress U, and Dad’s the illustrious football coach. Appearances mean everything to them, and I’m a continuous disappointment. They told me I’d be out on my ass if I fell off the wagon, so keeping it a secret is my number one priority.

Until the super-hot all-star QB takes more than a passing interest in me. Adam gets me, in a way no guy ever has, filling my head with ideas of forever—and now, I want more.

Dating my dealer is a recipe for disaster, especially when it’s forbidden, but I can’t help myself.

Because I’ve fallen too deep.

And the hole is too large to crawl out of.

First Line:

I tear my helmet off my head, shoving my fingers through my thick brown hair as hard as I can.

Holding On To Forever by Siobhan Davis and S.B. Alexander

My Review:

I was surprised by Holding On To Forever. I was a little hesitant to read a book where the main characters were a drug dealer and his client. Those exactly aren’t my favorite books to read. But, as soon as I started reading Holding On To Forever, my doubts about the book were erased.

Holding On To Forever was a compelling and heartbreaking read. The dual plotlines follow Adam and Emily as they battle their demons. The author portrayal of an addict is heartbreaking and realistic. The book shows the struggle an addict goes through to stay clean and the relapses that happen. Adam turning to dealing drugs is also a heartbreaking situation.

I liked Adam, and I sympathized with him, to a point. He went back to dealing drugs because it was fast money. He needed that money to get his sister’s vest fixed, to pay her hospital bills, and to keep a roof over his mother’s head. But I agreed with Sam when he found out. Why not get a regular job? Again, it comes back to the fast money. I will admit that I didn’t see the appeal of Emily at first. But, the more I read his part of the book, I figured out that he wanted to save her from herself. Plus, he loved her.

Emily had my full sympathy for the entire book. She had been through so much since she was 15. Even before, now that I think about it. Her mother didn’t like her and didn’t want her. Her father was super distracted. She turned to Molly and other drugs to drown out the pain. It was so sad to read those parts of her story. To top it off, she was blackmailed by this scuzz bag who had a video of her in an orgy while high. He was blackmailing her into doing sexual favors for him and his frat brothers. I didn’t blame her for wanting to forget about it all. I do think that Adam was right for her. But even he couldn’t help her with her demons. And what demons they were. I did guess the truth about what happened to her but to read it, broke my heart. That is something that no one should carry around with her.

I couldn’t stand Emily’s mother. To put it this way, I wanted to reach through the book and throttle her. All she cared about was her image. So when certain things happened to her at the end of the book, I wasn’t upset. I did a fist pump.

I was on the fence about Emily’s father. He was a distracted mess the first half of the book. I couldn’t understand why he didn’t want to leave that witch he was married too. He did redeem himself when he went ballistic on Adam and then hunted Emily down. That scene and the scene afterward broke my heart.

The author did a fantastic job of portraying how a drug addict thinks. I have a brother who is a heroin addict, and Emily mirrored his behaviors. There were times where I had tears in my eyes because of realistic her behavior was. Even the behavior of Scar and Zach were realistic.

I do want to mention that there are situations where sexual assault was described. The author didn’t hold back any punches when it came to them. I usually don’t get triggered by stuff like that, but I was a little taken aback. So, a warning if anyone is triggered.

The end of the book was terrific. All I have to say is that justice was served with Emily’s mother. Her father also came through for her big time. The epilogues (there are two) were terrific. I loved reading them!! I also liked the author’s note afterward.

I would give Holding On To Forever an Adult rating. There is sex. There is language. There is violence. I would recommend that no one under the age of 21 read this book.

I am on the fence if I would reread Holding On To Forever. I would recommend it to family and friends.

**I voluntarily reviewed a complimentary copy of this book**